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What Is Your Attachment Style?

10/26/2021

The Different Types of Attachment Styles:
1. Secure Attachment
2. Ambivalent Attachment
3. Avoidant Attachment
4. Disorganized Attachment

Characteristics of Attachment:
Bowlby believed that there are four distinguishing characteristics of attachment:
-Proximity maintenance: The desire to be near the people we are attached to.
-Safe haven: Returning to the attachment figure for comfort and safety in the face of a fear or threat.
-Secure base: The attachment figure acts as a base of security from which the child can explore the surrounding environment.
-Separation distress: Anxiety that occurs in the absence of the attachment figure.

1a. Secure Attachment Characteristics As Children:
-Separates from parent
-Seeks comfort from parents when frightened
-Greets return of parents with positive emotions
-Prefers parents to strangers

1b. Secure Attachment Characteristics As Adults:
-Have trusting, lasting relationships
-Tend to have good self-esteem
-Share feelings with partners and friends
-Seek out social support

2a. Ambivalent Attachment Characteristics As Children:
-May be wary of strangers
-Become greatly distressed when parents leave
-Do not appear comforted when parents return

2b. Ambivalent Attachment Characteristics As Adults:
-Reluctant to become close to others
-Worry that their partner does not love them
-Become very distraught when relationships end

3a. Avoidant Attachment Characteristics As Children:
-May avoid parents
-Do not seek much contact or comfort from parents
-Show little or no preference for parents over strangers

3b. Avoidant Attachment Characteristics As Adults:
-May have problems with intimacy
-Invest little emotion in social and romantic relationships
-Unwilling or unable to share thoughts or feelings with others

4a. Disorganized Attachment Characteristics At Age 1:
-Show a mixture of avoidant and resistant behavior
-May seem dazed, confused, or apprehensive

4b. Disorganized Attachment Characteristics At Age 6:
-May take on a parental role
-Some children may act as a caregiver toward the parent

Reference:
Very Well Mind

#AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #AvoidantAttachmentStyle #AnxiousAttachmentStyle #FearfulAvoidantAttachment

wellness blog

Healthy Boundaries

10/25/2021

Boundaries can take many forms. They can range from being rigid and strict to appearing almost nonexistent.

If you have more rigid boundaries, you might:
-keep others at a distance
-seem detached, even with intimate partners
-have few close relationships
-avoid close relationships

If you have more loose or open boundaries, you might:
-get too involved with others’ problems
-find it difficult to say “no” to others’ requests
-overshare personal information with others
-seek to please others for fear of rejection

A person with healthy boundaries understands that making their expectations clear helps in two ways: it establishes what behavior you will accept from other people, and it establishes what behavior other people can expect from you. If you have healthy boundaries, you might:
-share personal information appropriately (not too much or not too little)
-understand your personal needs and wants and know how to communicate them
-value your own opinions
-accept when others tell you “no”

#HealthyBoundaries

Reference:
From Psych Central

Never Waste Time

10/24/2021

wellness blog

20 Cognitive Distortions and How They Affect Your Life

10/23/2021

Accepting That Everyone Struggles With Distorted Perceptions Of Reality Leads To Greater Self Awareness That Helps Recovery Of Internal As Well As External Turmoil. No-one Is Exempt From Experiencing These Distortions. Here's A List Of Distorted Perceptions Of Reality That Everyone Experiences Due To Past Conditioning Regardless Of Education Or Otherwise.

1. BLACK-AND-WHITE THINKING
A person with this dichotomous thinking pattern typically sees things in terms of either/or. Something is either good or bad, right or wrong, all or nothing. Black-and-white thinking fails to acknowledge that there are almost always several shades of gray that exist between black and white. By seeing only two possible sides or outcomes to something, a person ignores the middle—and possibly more reasonable—ground.

2. PERSONALIZATION
When engaging in this type of thinking, an individual tends to take things personally. He or she may attribute things that other people do as the result of his or her own actions or behaviors. This type of thinking also causes a person to blame himself or herself for external circumstances outside the person’s control.

3. ‘SHOULD’ STATEMENTS
Thoughts that include “should,” “ought,” or “must” are almost always related to a cognitive distortion. For example: “I should have arrived to the meeting earlier,” or, “I must lose weight to be more attractive.” This type of thinking may induce feelings of guilt or shame. “Should” statements also are common when referring to others in our lives. These thoughts may go something like, “He should have called me earlier,” or, “She ought to thank me for all the help I’ve given her.” Such thoughts can lead a person to feel frustration, anger, and bitterness when others fail to meet unrealistic expectations. No matter how hard we wish to sometimes, we cannot control the behavior of another, so thinking about what others should do serves no healthy purpose.

4. CATASTROPHIZING
This occurs when a person sees any unpleasant occurrence as the worst possible outcome. A person who is catastrophizing might fail an exam and immediately think he or she has likely failed the entire course. A person may not have even taken the exam yet and already believe he or she will fail—assuming the worst, or preemptively catastrophizing.

5. MAGNIFYING
With this type of cognitive distortion, things are exaggerated or blown out of proportion, though not quite to the extent of catastrophizing. It is the real-life version of the old saying, “Making a mountain out of a molehill.”

6. MINIMIZING
The same person who experiences the magnifying distortion may minimize positive events. These distortions sometimes occur in conjunction with each other. A person who distorts reality by minimizing may think something like, “Yes, I got a raise, but it wasn’t very big and I’m still not very good at my job.”

7. MINDREADING
This type of thinker may assume the role of psychic and may think he or she knows what someone else thinks or feels. The person may think he or she knows what another person thinks despite no external confirmation that his or her assumption is true.

8. FORTUNE TELLING
A fortune-telling-type thinker tends to predict the future, and usually foresees a negative outcome. Such a thinker arbitrarily predicts that things will turn out poorly. Before a concert or movie, you might hear him or her say, “I just know that all the tickets will be sold out when we get there.”

9. OVERGENERALIZATION
When overgeneralizing, a person may come to a conclusion based on one or two single events, despite the fact reality is too complex to make such generalizations. If a friend misses a lunch date, this doesn’t mean he or she will always fail to keep commitments. Overgeneralizing statements often include the words “always,” “never,” “every,” or “all.”

10. DISCOUNTING THE POSITIVE
This extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking occurs when a person discounts positive information about a performance, event, or experience and sees only negative aspects. A person engaging in this type of distortion might disregard any compliments or positive reinforcement he or she receives.

Thought patterns can be changed through a process referred to in cognitive therapy as cognitive restructuring. The idea behind it is that by adjusting our automatic thoughts, we are able to influence our emotions and behaviors.

11. FILTERING
This cognitive distortion, similar to discounting the positive, occurs when a person filters out information, negative or positive. For example, a person may look at his or her feedback on an assignment in school or at work and exclude positive notes to focus on one critical comment.

12. LABELING
This distortion, a more severe type of overgeneralization, occurs when a person labels someone or something based on one experience or event. Instead of believing that he or she made a mistake, people engaging in this type of thinking might automatically label themselves as failures.

13. BLAMING
This is the opposite of personalization. Instead of seeing everything as your fault, all blame is put on someone or something else.

14. EMOTIONAL REASONING
Mistaking one’s feelings for reality is emotional reasoning. If this type of thinker feels scared, there must be real danger. If this type of thinker feels stupid, then to h
im or her this must be true. This type of thinking can be severe and may manifest as obsessive compulsion. For example, a person may feel dirty even though he or she has showered twice within the past hour.

15. ALWAYS BEING ‘RIGHT’
This thinking pattern causes a person to internalize his or her opinions as facts and fails to consider the feelings of the other person in a debate or discussion. This cognitive distortion can make it difficult to form and sustain healthy relationships.

16. SELF-SERVING BIAS
A person experiencing self-serving bias may attribute all positive events to his or her personal character while seeing any negative events as outside of his or her control. This pattern of thinking may cause a person to refuse to admit mistakes or flaws and to live in a distorted reality where he or she can do no wrong.

17. ‘HEAVEN’S REWARD’ FALLACY
In this pattern of thinking, a person may expect divine rewards for his or her sacrifices. People experiencing this distortion tend to put their interests and feelings aside in hopes that they will be rewarded for their selflessness later, but they may become bitter and angry if the reward is never presented.

18. FALLACY OF CHANGE
This distortion assumes that other people must change their behavior in order for us to be happy. This way of thinking is usually considered selfish because it insists, for example, that other people change their schedule to accommodate yours or that your partner shouldn’t wear his or her favorite t-shirt because you don’t like it.

19. FALLACY OF FAIRNESS
This fallacy assumes that things have to be measured based on fairness and equality, when in reality things often don’t always work that way. An example of the trap this type of thinking sets is when it justifies infidelity if a person’s partner has cheated.

20. CONTROL FALLACY
Someone who sees things as internally controlled may put himself or herself at fault for events that are truly out of the person’s control, such as another person’s happiness or behavior. A person who sees things as externally controlled might blame his or her boss for poor work performance.

Reference:
20 Cognitive Distortions and How They Affect Your Life

Release Yourself From The Prison Created Within

10/21/2021

What ever happened to treat other people how you want to be treated.

These days smiling at someone can easily invoke anger or confusion because of a belief of being misleading. Being rude through expressions or words is thought to be strong or intelligent. True intelligence requires effort through practiced skill.

The reality is that people respond due to a reflection of their own inner turmoil with their individual weaknesses exposed. Self reflection with dedication to one's own capabilities is key to create individual happiness rather than expecting others to be miserable with us or change for us when we lack self esteem.

Be A Creation Of What You Want To Receive And You Will Release Yourself From The Prison Created Within. Give Yourself The Key You Need To Unlock The Reality You Desire.

#SelfLove #BeFree #UncageYourself

What's Really Wrong?

10/20/2021

If Its Not Hurting Anyone, What's Wrong With It?

Toxic Positivity

10/18/2021

The Dismissal Of A Perceived Negative Experience By One's Self Or Others. Toxic Positivity Can Occur When:

Jumping To Conclusions Or Making Assumptions By Giving A Perceived Value Such As Unsolicited Advice Without Asking Open Ended Questions, Speaking In Constructive Concern, Or Providing Understanding And Validation

The Main Difference Between Codependence And Interdependence

10/17/2021

Is How Capable One Is In Operating When Alone.

In The Words Of RuPaul

10/16/2021

If You Can't Love Yourself, How Are You Ever Going To Love Anybody Else?

Start Today

10/15/2021

There' No Better Time To Start Your Recovery Than Today!

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